The fabulous 112th Congress finally managed to get their ass in gear and passed the fiscal cliff deal. I'm sure it could have been better, but frankly, my main interest was in the renewal of unemployment benefits. After a year of trying to find work, trying different fields and failing at both, I had exhausted my benefits and the "already small to begin with" buffer I'd held onto from the last student loan I got before I graduated Summa Cum Laude from Portland State.
I'd gambled everything on a Java training program I heard about in July and finally got into in October. Gambled, and lost. After ten harrowing weeks and despite having been assured by the instructor it was possible to come in with zero experience in programming and finish up hired by them after fourteen weeks, even he had to admit that despite my best efforts, it just wasn't enough. I waver between feeling like a failure for not being able to pull it off, and being realistic that as a single mom to a special needs twelve-year-old, the odds were not "ever in my favor."
It didn't help that financially, despite cutting everything I could conceivably cut, down to the bone, including getting a temporary reduction on my car payment, it was only because my boyfriend was splitting food costs with me and my weekly cleaning job that we were squeaking by. Hardly the "year long vacation" I keep hearing about from conservatives pissed off about the extension of unemployment benefits.
My anxiety level, always at a low simmer, got so bad that when a friend told me about a place where you can sell your plasma, and I went in to get vetted and set up, I couldn't get my heart rate under 100 bpm, which is required before you can actually "donate" and get paid. Vicious circle. And the burning of my heart, creeping up into my jaw like the pain of a heart attack. Of course, no health insurance, and because of the unemployment, I don't qualify for the state insurance. And if I got even a part-time job, the unemployment benefits are reduced by the same amount. There's no way to keep up, let alone get ahead and get out. As my friend Goolywog says, welcome to morning in American, all you Reagan fans.
